i’m here to talk to you, and i’m looking for people like me. i want to find the near agents of the world and help them step into the light. i don’t want to waste another second here. with periodic reminders, my own growth towards my goals, and dumb little videos and essays, i want to build a schelling point for near agents to become full agents and go wreak upon the world.
this is a delicate balance. i’m not trying to build a community of losers, which is what i think can happen when you try to make content like this. dr. k for example is a great person and i admire his mission sincerely. he dedicates himself, has dedicated himself for years, to helping losers cope and become non-losers. maybe it’s worked for some of them, but the reason i tend to stay away from his videos is because you can tell a lot of people have been there for years too, have set up a community there. this is a natural human instinct (setting up a community) but it can backfire when people set up a community around being broken in some way. because of tribalism and identity attachment, these people will never fix themselves and move on and actually do the thing like dr. k is exhorting them to. to fix themselves and move on and stop watching dr. k videos would be leaving the tribe, leaving the community, and that’s just a pillar of who you are. i’m not trying to speak to these people.
neither am i any kind of leader. i wouldn’t advise anyone take me as their leader because i am mostly focused on me and just trying to help others as a byproduct of that. and also, i think anyone that tries to brand themselves as a strong leader you should follow only attracts moronic weak followers. think andrew tate, jordan peterson. anyone with half a braincell of independent thought is reviled by the aesthetics of riding another man’s dick into battle. among other reasons. the true leaders of today are the ones that aren’t even trying to be leaders, they just have the soft social capital and charisma that people want to associate with them, be like them. think david dobrik, ludwig, mr. beast. i’m not really trying to do this either, and i doubt i’d be able to if i even wanted to.
i’m just trying to be an activating agent, find my swarm of slightly defective agents, help them fix themselves and snap out of it, get their glow on, and then we all collaborate to do crazy things of outsized leverage.
i’m just obsessed with the idea that you can do infinite things, and there is always a way to spend the time. in fact, 99.9% of the ways to spend the time are useless, consumptive, and don’t help you or anyone in any way. it takes keen awareness, and courage to spend your time doing the thing that you really want, that will get you there, or will really help someone or be interesting. did you catch that last part? it takes courage. because knowing what that thing is is just half the battle. the other half is finding the courage to do it and potentially fail.
i have so many ideas that i’ve scavenged from the internet that i think are key for people like us. i won’t pretend that i have an exhaustive or even correct list of them now, but just stream of consciousness writing:
- there is not much time, live urgently, yolo, your hand is your hand, how hard will you go? the whiteboard gets erased at the end of the day.
- it’s you versus your mind sometimes, but maybe more useful as you plus your mind (treat it as a friend), and sometimes it’s just you and your body, there is no mind independent (is that what eckhart tolle was trying to say?)
- gamble everything for love if you are a true human being halfheartedness does not reach into majesty.